


Wanting to know things you maybe shouldn't

by striking_stroll18



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Sex, is this what the people call a crack fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/striking_stroll18/pseuds/striking_stroll18
Summary: Before a press conference, Charles tells Pierre something in French. Lance listens to it and Lando wants to know what it was about.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen, Lando Norris & Carlos Sainz Jr, Sergio Perez & Lance Stroll
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	Wanting to know things you maybe shouldn't

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by this tumblr ask: https://suckmyballshoney.tumblr.com/post/623515188804648960/imagine-charles-ranting-at-pierre-before-the-fia  
> I hope you like this! French translations provided in the notes at the end.

Silence surrounded Lance, Lando and Kevin. The three drivers were waiting in the press centre, all occupied with their thoughts. It was Thursday afternoon, two races short of summer break. The three of them plus Charles and Pierre were supposed to be in today's press conference. If they were honest, they could imagine a hundred better ways to spend their Thursday. For example, Lance would much rather sit in his hotel room and binge-watch his favourite show. They were getting more and more annoyed at their fellow drivers for being late to the press centre. Still, they kept waiting in silence. Lance knew that Lando did not particularly like him and Kevin wasn’t a talkative person.  
Thankfully, they soon heard voices coming closer to them. Charles and Pierre were discussing animatedly in French. From what Lance could understand they were talking about their plans for the summer break. He didn’t get every word as they weren’t that close yet, but he wasn’t interested in their conversation anyway. Soon, the French and the Monegasque driver rounded the corner. They quickly greeted the three waiting men before continuing their conversation in French quieter. Quickly Lance realized that they had changed the topic. The snippets he understood were definitely not anymore about plans for the summer break.  
"- il m'a soudain embrassé fort -", Charles whispered angrily while gesturing wildly. It led to Pierre blushing furiously, choking on the drink he was sipping on. The Frenchman's coughing made Lando look over to them questioningly. Charles either didn't care or didn't realize that, however. He just continued ranting at his best friend. He could be glad Lando did not speak French. Lance wished he didn't either.  
Charles and Pierre came to a halt next to Lance. Charles with his back turned towards the Canadian and his friend opposite the Monegasque. Lance wished they hadn't stopped there. Now, he was able to understand every word. But oh dear, he had never wanted to hear those things. Especially not from Charles Leclerc. He tried not to listen, but it was impossible. Everybody else was quiet and the Canadian could not think of anything that distracted him enough from that conversation. He could feel his face burning. He was probably not looking any better than Pierre. The AlphaTauri driver's face was of a bright red, nearly as red as his friend's Ferrari team shirt. Charles, on the other hand, seemed to not have any intention to stop talking anytime soon. Lance was dreading where this story would lead to. Why could nobody else start a conversation? Lance awkwardly cleared his throat, running his hand through his hair. He was hoping it would make Charles aware that he was listening. It only got Lando's and Pierre's attention though. The Brit looked at him weirded out and Lance couldn't blame him. The French driver with a similar facial colour first looked at him confused. Then it dawned on him and his expression turned from confusion to horror to embarrassment with a hint of an apology. Quietly Pierre interrupted Charles.  
"Peut-être ce n'est pas le bon moment pour cette conversation?" He shortly nodded in Lance's direction. Charles turned around for a second and simply shrugged. “Je ne comprends pas“, he said. With an exasperated look, Pierre sighed and let Charles continue talking. Lance wished he didn’t. How much longer until the press conference started, and he would be saved from this situation?

Lance had never wanted to leave the press centre faster than this Thursday. Charles’ story pretty much traumatized him, he seriously just wanted some time alone to forget what he heard. When he was just about to leave the building, somebody tapped his left shoulder. The Canadian turned around and came face to face with Lando. The Brit awkwardly fumbled around with his hands. “So… Uh… About earlier…” Lando awkwardly stuttered. Lance looked at him questioningly, although he already had a suspicion what Lando was on about. “You know… Earlier… Before the press conference…” Lando ran his hands through his hair before taking a deep breath. “What I’m trying to ask is, what did Charles and Pierre talk about?”  
So, his suspicion was correct. But could he really tell him? He probably shouldn’t but it’s not like Lando should’ve been warned by Pierre’s and Lance’s behaviour. “I don’t think you would want to know that. You’re better off if you don’t know it, trust me.” Determination crossed Lando’s face now, he didn’t like being told what to do. “I’m sure I can handle whatever it is. It can’t be that bad, come on.” Lance hesitated again, surely not everybody was supposed to know. Lando’s pleading look convinced him in the end. “Fine. I’ll tell you. But not here, alright?” Lando nodded. “Follow me”, the short Brit added. Lance did as he was told, together they walked through the paddock. Soon they arrived at the younger driver’s motorhome. Lance earned more than his fair share of confused and suspicious looks, but he couldn’t blame them. The two men entered the room, and Lando locked the door behind them. “What was their conversation about?” Lance sighed and just like Lando a few minutes ago ran his hand through his hair. “It’s really embarrassing. On behalf of Charles, please promise you won’t tell anybody.”  
Lando shrugged and nodded. “Sure, I won’t tell a soul.” The Brit sat down on the sofa, gesturing to Lance that he could sit down, too, if he wanted. The Canadian sat down opposite him. Nervously he ran his palms across his thighs. He didn’t quite know where to start. Lance sighed again, before he began talking. “Considering you’re friends with Max, you probably know about the complicated relationship between him and Charles?” Lando chuckled. “Obviously. There’s no chance of knowing one of them and not knowing about that.”  
“True”, Lance laughed. “Anyway, so last night Charles got back to his hotel room and found Max there. Short version is, Max was angry at him because Charles ate the leftovers of Max’ favourite food. And well… Basically they fucked. Full on angry sex. And Charles apparently really desperately needed to tell Pierre in every detail about it.” Lando had a look of utter horror on his face the more Lance told who couldn’t stop talking once he had started. When he finished telling the story an awkward silence erupted. “That was… Detailed”, Lando commented questioningly. “Definitely. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t told you the whole story though. Sorry for traumatizing you”, Lance grinned lopsidedly. Lando shrugged, a grin on his face. “It’s kind of my own fault, isn’t it? It was me who wanted to know, you didn’t want to tell me in the beginning.” “True. Anyway, I guess I should leave now. I have quite a few mental images to forget.” Lance got up from the sofa, before turning towards Lando again. “It was nice talking to you for once, I know you don’t really like me.” Lando blushed, opening his mouth to protest before closing It again. He looked at the floor. “Sorry about that. I guess you’re not as bad as I always thought.” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Anyway, bye”, the Canadian laughed. He unlocked the door, with Lando laughing and telling his goodbyes too. When Lance opened the door, he stood right in front of Carlos who looked at him suspiciously. “What are you doing here?”, the Spaniard asked him. “Nothing, I was just about to leave”, Lance replied and made sure to leave as quickly as possible.  
Soon he reached his own motorhome where he flopped down on the sofa. Crossing his arms behind his head, he tried to relax and take a nap. Just when he was about to doze off, the door opened loudly. Sighing, Lance sat up and saw his teammate standing in the room. “Hey, Checo. How are you?”, Lance greeted the Mexican. “Hello, Lance. I’m good, what about you?” Checo’s answer made Lance suspicious. Usually his teammate wasn’t interested in small talk. “I’m good as well. What do you want though? You don’t care about chit chat usually.” Checo seemed to be confused by Lance’s last sentence but he let it slip. “I talked to Kevin. He said that Charles and Pierre had a weird conversation in French today before the press conference. Also said you looked uncomfortable listening to them”, Sergio stated matter-of-factly. “I wanted to know if you are okay. And what they were talking about”, Checo added when he saw Lance’s confused and questioning face. Lance smiled at Checo before shrugging. “Yeah, it was just really uncomfortable to listen to Charles talking about him and Max fucking because Charles ate Max’ favourite food.” The Mexican’s face displayed a funny mix of horror and amusement at what his teammate told him. Soon he started chuckling. “Should have known it was a weird story.” Lance nodded and replied chuckling, “Yeah, I didn’t expect anything other than weird from them either.”  
“I will leave you alone again, you looked like you were sleeping when I came in. Sorry. But see you tomorrow, right?” Checo sent the younger man a warm smile, he liked the kid. He didn’t deserve the hate he got. “Yes, see you tomorrow. Bye, Checo.” With a smile on his face, Lance lied back down and Checo left the motorhome again. Outside, he almost ran into Carlos who was furiously muttering in Spanish under his breath. “Hey, Carlos, where are you going?”, the Mexican asked the McLaren driver in Spanish. For a moment, the addressed man stopped walking. “I’m looking for Charles. I need to tell him to keep his sex life away from my innocent baby teammate”, he explained in their mother tongue with an angry look. Sergio slowly nodded. “Alright, I don’t want to be in your way for that. But I don’t think Lando is as innocent as you think.” Carlos shook his head in confusion before rushing off. Checo then continued his way to his own motorhome. When he was just about to open the door, he could hear an angry yell through the paddock coming from the Ferrari hospitality.  
“If I catch you one more time talking about this in front of Lando you’re a dead man!”

**Author's Note:**

> il m'a soudain embrassé fort - he suddenly kissed me hard  
> Peut-être ce n'est pas le bon moment pour cette conversation? - Maybe this isn't a good moment for this conversation?  
> Je ne comprends pas - I don't get it
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, please tell me so that I can correct them. Comments and kudos are appreciated ;)


End file.
